We’ve read a lot so far about how to be a good host, what to serve and how to make your guests feel at home.  What we haven’t yet covered, is a list of the common things that a host should NOT do. As someone who knows firsthand the work and effort that goes into hosting, I hate to sound ungrateful, but equally, I feel that it is just as important to be a gracious host, as it is to be a gracious guest. So here it is, a list I have created, based on my own past experiences and observations of what I believe a host should avoid – and not all are related to the food!

• Waiting too long to serve food or drinks; yes, I get the idea is to encourage people to mingle and get comfortable, but chances are, many of them have already arrived quite hungry, which means they aren’t in the mood to socialise. So, unless you’re serving snacks, be sure to have dinner on the table no more than 30 minutes after everyone has arrived. After all, what better time to chat than over dinner?
• Cleaning up too early; surely as a host, you want your guests to feel comfortable and at home, correct? Well, you certainly won’t achieve that if you start clearing away the plates too soon. Remember, people are different, and while some people are fast eaters, many of us like to take our time and have breaks in between bites. I therefore advise all hosts to be conscious and aware of their guests, and to keep an eye out.  If it seems as though things are winding down around the dinner table, give it a few more minutes, and perhaps ask your guests if they’d like anything else. One thing I do is have a bite of something and see how they respond.  If it encourages someone to reach over for another helping, then I know it’s too early.  If not however, and I can see quite clearly that everyone is done with their meal, that’s when I stand up and say ‘dessert anyone?’
• Messy foods or foods that are hard to serve; I have come to find that this is an important one. If I’m helping myself, it needs to be easy. For example, if you’re serving a roast, make sure it’s already carved, because most guests don’t want to do these things themselves, which typically results in them moving on to something else, or not having as much as they’d like.  So always make sure your serving spoons are sturdy and can scoop up a generous amount, meats and fish are already cut and sliced, and, if you have enough on hand, put out tongs instead of spoons; they’re so much easier when it comes to helping yourself!
• Over-insisting, and asking ‘why aren’t you eating?’ – Yes, it is annoying when people don’t eat, but it is equally annoying to force feed them. I myself am a big eater, and never shy away from reaching for seconds or even thirds, but when I’m done, I’m definitely done.  And of course, it is fine to ask once ‘would you like some more?’ or ‘can I get you anything else?’, but when this is met with a ‘no thank you’, respect the decision and end it there.  Insisting beyond that point however, is nothing short of irritating, and worse than that, is making any kind of jab or comment over it, such as ‘but you didn’t eat anything’, ‘are you on a diet?’, or even ‘I can see now why you’re so skinny.’ Whatever their reason, these comments don’t make for good hosting, so simply smile next time your offer for more food is turned down and move on.  Believe me, if your guests are happy and comfortable, they will help themselves if they are still hungry.
• Last, and most certainly my biggest hosting pet peeve… trying wayyyy too hard. This comes in many forms; constantly apologising (usually for nothing), too eager to please, never seated for more than 2 minutes at a time, and my absolute worst, serving you more food even after you’ve said you’re done. Yes, a lot of this is cultural, but man do they make for an annoying host! And believe me, if you fall into this category, you are not doing yourself, or your guests any favours.  To this I say once again, be mindful, be self-aware, relax and enjoy the company of your friends and the food you’ve spent hours preparing.  After all, they’re all there to see you too.